Having an imaginary social media profile

I discovered this year that I have an imaginary social media profile. I think that's healthier for me.

I found though that using the Google photos app as social media is emotionally better for me. I can enjoy the pictures that I take without needing other people's approval. Google brings up memories from the past or ties them together in a theme. I often think of posts or captions for the pictures that I take. I've heard of other people creating fake social media profiles or fake blogs that nobody knows exists because it's kept private. Google photos has been that for me.

I didn't post anything on social media for the first 6 months of the year. I was wrestling with the question, can I use social media without serving people's opinion of me? In truth, I don't think I can. I post something now once a month or two. When I do, I still find myself craving every like. Every time someone approves of it or leaves a comment it feels better for me than it ought to. It's kind of a gross thing to notice in myself. I wish it were different. I'm thankful, though, to know that it happens every time I make a post. 

Maybe there will come a day that I can use social media without craving other people's approval. Until then, writing for my blog and taking pictures for Google photos is the way to go for me. 


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